A Magi’s Guide to the Rising Newcomers

(A Humorous Collection of Observations from the Grand Archives of the Nexus)

A new initiate into the world of technomancy, summoning Wi-Fi. Image generated with AI.

Introduction:

There comes a time in every Magi’s journey when they must face the inevitable: the arrival of a new generation, eager yet woefully unprepared to walk the Digital Leylines. They come armed with enthusiasm, boundless questions, and an uncanny ability to summon errors thought long banished. It is the duty of the seasoned Magi to guide these Initiates, lest they wander too far into the Forbidden Zones (or worse—disable their own network adapter).

Take heed, for the wisdom contained within these pages has been gathered through many cycles of trial and tribulation. Learn these signs well, and may your patience endure.

Signs That a Newcomer Has Entered the Realm:

1. They invoke "The Cloud" as though it were an actual weather phenomenon.

• "Where exactly is the Cloud? Is it above the data center?"

• "If I delete a file from my computer, will it also rain it down from the Cloud?"

2. They believe turning it off and on again is an ancient ritual, not a fundamental truth.

• "Surely, there must be another way. A more… sophisticated solution?"

• (Clicks every setting possible before reluctantly restarting.)

3. They are certain that RAM is just "extra storage."

• "I ran out of space! Can I just install more RAM?"

• (Attempts to download a RAM upgrade like it’s an app.)

4. They mistake every pop-up for a dire warning.

• "MY SYSTEM IS INFECTED? It says I must click here immediately!"

• (Has unknowingly installed a browser extension named "Magical Speed Booster 3000.")

5. They treat their first terminal command like an incantation of great power.

• "I dare not mistype, lest I summon an error beyond my comprehension!"

• (Executes ‘ls’ and waits as though expecting a portal to open.)

6. They believe Wi-Fi runs on magic and can be improved by "good vibes."

• "Maybe if we move the router… closer to the window… or put it on a shelf?"

• (Is shocked when walls interfere with the signal.)

7. They think the Elders exaggerate about past hardships.

• "You had to use dial-up? And it disconnected when someone picked up the phone? Surely, this is but a legend!"

• (Scoffs at the thought of using floppy disks, only to panic when their own files disappear without backups.)

8. They summon the Magi for aid at the first sign of system instability.

• "The network is down! The leyline has ruptured!"

• (Fails to check if the Ethernet cable is plugged in.)

9. They believe copying code from the ancient scrolls (Stack Overflow) will always work without question.

• "It says 'modify for your system'… but surely, it will just work as written?"

• (Summons an error so cryptic even the Magi pause in thought.)

10. They unknowingly awaken forbidden spirits by clicking "Yes" without reading.

• "It said I needed administrative privileges, so I just allowed it. Is that bad?"

• (The Magi sigh in unison.)

Final Words of Wisdom:

To be a Magi of the Nexus is to walk the path of both enlightenment and patience. Though the Rising Newcomers may stumble, they carry the spark of future Technomancers within them. Teach them well, guide them with wisdom, and above all—never let them near production systems unsupervised.

May your network remain stable and your files free of chaos.